Capo Testa (Sardinia) - Underwater History

Lost Civilisations - The Myth of Atlantis

    Since before the 1500s, the myth of the lost city of Atlantis has fuelled the imagination of creative hipsters through the ages, including Philo Judaeus, Plato, Francis Bacon, Abraham Ortelius and importantly, the Scottish musician Donovan.

'Way down.....below the ocean....'

    And even more importantly, it inspired (Sir?) Julian Courtland-Smith to create one of the GREATEST boardgames of all time - 'Escape from Atlantis'.

Even if I don't win (which is never), it still feels like I'm just generally winning at life when I play Escape From Atlantis. Those beautifully coloured figurines, the danger and destruction from sea monsters, that tantalising tessellation of those hexagons, I could go on... 

(picture from nostalgianerd.com)

   However, in our real, non-game world (if there even is such a thing), there's a planet full of hidden histories and ancient relics immersed beneath the waves that can offer inspiration of what we think the Lost City of Atlantis would look like. For example, there is...  

Capo Testa

    In the North of the Italian island of Sardinia there is a peninsula named Capo Testa (in English this means the Cap of the Head) which used to be a Roman stronghold in terms of military strategy, but also for resources for its Capital City. Granite was threshed from the Capo Testa landscape and hauled to mainland Italy to build Rome itself. If you look closely at the sea-eroded scenery you can see signs of an ancient civilisation that must have worked incredibly hard!

Spacious, atmospheric property with excellent sea views...

Would you describe those stairs as whimsical, kooky or just plain deadly?

    Tiny, hidden clues of a time-worn community are dotted around Capo Testa. However, even more impressive are the often hilariously shaped rocks moulded both from bygone quarrying work and of course by the powerful erosion from the Mediterranean sea.

This rock looks like an elephant or a bird with a large beak. Other suggestions are welcome.

Get your sunscreen on, some tough beach/walking shoes, your best lenses (including for sunglasses as well as for cameras) and enjoy the views.

     Just be aware that, although it may seem like you are looking at the rocks...

...the rocks are actually looking at you.

(Like the Gnome King in Return to Oz - if you get that reference, you are officially a spirit sibling of mine...)

Capo Testa (Underwater) 

   Alright fellow humamphibians, let's dip our heads under the water and see what Capo Testa has hidden under its quarryl-some waves.

But not before observing Ol' Rocky Face here..

    I mean, the water in Sardinia always looks so inviting, it practically orders you to go for a swim!

Viewgasm

    Due to the erosion of the waves, it is difficult to interpret whether or not you are looking at aged stairways, statues or simply weather-beaten rocks.

Look at that centuries-old anger on this guy..

    You can see plenty of wonderful schools and shoals of fish near the surface of the water as you admire mysterious sub-aquatic structures....

Shoaling societies definitely still call this place a home

    Walls and bridges can often look impressive and/or imposing, but underwater they are cleansed by the beauty of the sea..

I've never really been too keen on walls (unless they're the underwater sort).

Would you say that this could be a bridge over and under sometimes troubled water?

    The underwater scenery can be so breath-taking, but don't actually forget to breathe. After all, beautiful landscapes are all around, especially in the form of the Capo Testa Lighthouse sitting atop its kingdom of majestic rocks and fantastic beaches. 

The completely automatic Capo Testa Lighthouse was built in 1845. Facts.

Sardinia Travel Advice

    In all honesty, it's best to get a rented car and travel to where your instincts are pulling you. In the city of Olbia, there are many low budget hotels. There are numerous fantastic places to go and the sea is beautiful everywhere you look, especially if you visit during the summery months (June to September). If you're into history and archaeology, there is a wealth of cultural treasure all around Sardinia. Sometimes you have to let your inner explorer come out from its hiding place and treat your psyche to wonders from lost ages.

Cave? Staircase? Sea? How about all three, those are your decisions...

    But, make sure you take time to relax and enjoy the warmth and the sea breezes with a pizza and granita combo. Keep your eyes peeled whilst Tyrrhenian Rock Lizards scuttle past:

This one seemed to like posing, but most of the time they just want your food..

    So pack plenty of sunscreen (factor 30-50 for Gingers like me), some insect repellent and a well-organised map of fantastic destinations to drive or cycle to.

Starred - beautiful beaches.

    But this is your holiday! So get on Google Maps and start planning your adventure...

Grazie mille for reading. Here's a bit of underwater videography:

Music: Sandro Fresi - Sarté
(plus a snippet of Ezra Furnan's 'At the Bottom of the Ocean')

Drowning First Aid

Introduction

As my blog promotes swimming, underwater photography and the aquatic lifestyle, it would be irresponsible of me if I didn't post something about first aid for drowning.
    This will be one of the most serious blog posts that I will ever write and I'm sure that much of the information here will seem like common sense. However, in an emergency situation, it is very easy for adrenaline and the fight/flight/freeze response to block rational thought. Simple and memorable instructions can help make a difference between life or death. And since 400 people in the UK (4000 in the USA) die from drowning each year, it's worth reading and then re-reading all the information presented here.

Starting with this infographic:

Some images from Pixabay.

D - Danger 

• Before swimming anywhere, think about potential risks to yourselves and others. Does the sea look too rough? How deep is the water? What is the water temperature? How good is the visibility?

• If your instincts tell you that it looks too dangerous, why risk it? Wait for a while or postpone your swim or dive for another day.

• If everything looks safe or you're comfortable with the conditions, do take precautions to limit the risk. The water may change from safe to unsafe whilst you're mid dive.

• Our relationship with the sea can be as complex as that with other humans. If you find yourself in a destructive situation that can't be solved with a cup of tea and a rational discussion, you have every right to leave the environment. 

The same is true with the sea - there's no harm in getting out, chilling on a rock and waiting for your 'loved one' to calm down. If you have the option to keep safe, it's a much better choice than trying to 'tough it out' and harming yourself in the process

• If you go diving, it's always best to do so with a trained and competent buddy. It's usually more fun that way anyway. 

• If solitude is your necessity, or you think there is a risk you could lose your buddy, take a brightly coloured surface float, marker buoy or inflatable boat. This will make it easier for buddies to re-unite, for rescuers to locate you and for boat users to be on the look-out for re-surfacing divers. 

A surface float with a flag and pockets to store your phone in a waterproof case is even better

• And finally, if you're not a confident swimmer but like to hang out near water (or with your water-loving friends), you may not know what to do if you think that someone is drowning. It's best to alert a life guard, someone who can swim or who has access to a boat. If you can't find someone, try to find a life ring or line that you can throw to them. If you cannot swim confidently, do not try to rescue your buddy.

Left: A 15m throwline. Right: A 72cm life ring.

• Don't take unnecessary risks. Some people may be daredevils (like these puffins), but it doesn't mean that you should be as well. One person drowning is already bad enough. Two people drowning can end in tragedy. 

R - Response

• One of the best ways to prevent drowning in the first place is to make sure you keep regular communication with your buddy. 

• Verbal communication at surface intervals, eye contact when underwater and habitual hand signalling will enable you to check your buddy's consciousness and awareness.

The universal diving hand signal for 'OK'. 

Image from Pixabay.

• If you're on the shore whilst your buddy is in the water, call to them if you spot any potential dangers such as approaching storms, speed boats, tidal waves, sharks or this swan. 

• If your buddy is unresponsive, they may be staying still and silent so as not to startle a turtle they're filming for their next YouTube video. Or, they may be experiencing Shallow Water Blackout, which is a loss of consciousness resulting from a lack of oxygen to the brain after a breath-hold dive (and they are at risk of drowning).

W - Watch

• Watch your buddy. Drowning never looks as dramatic as it does in the movies. A drowning person may spasm but more likely they will stop swimming, stop responding and possibly begin to sink.

• Check their face - especially their eyes. If they are unconscious, their eyes may shut or become rolled back. It's for this reason that I recommend wearing non-tinted, anti-fog goggles, anti-fog diving masks or getting some anti-fog spray for unobstructed eye visibility. 

If you need prescription glasses on-land, you should also invest in prescription goggles and/or a prescription diving mask. Good vision will make it easier to spot subtle signs that a person is drowning.

• Check for bubbles in front of their face, caused by an unwanted exhalation after becoming unconscious.

• Observe their movements. If your buddy seems conscious but is moving erratically, they may be experiencing Loss of Motor Control (LMC, also known as 'Samba'). LMC is caused by dangerously low oxygen levels in their body. You will need to help them hold their head above the water since they may not be able to do so.    

It may seem like your buddy is head-banging, blowing bubbles and playing underwater air-guitar, but there's a good chance they may have Loss of Motor Control and are at risk of drowning. Only incredibly silly people play aquatic air-guitar anyway.

A - Airway

• If your buddy is not responding and seems to be experiencing drowning, LMC or black-out, your first priority will be to protect and open their airway. 

• Approach them from behind if you can and assist them to the water's surface if they have sunk. Support your buddy's head whilst doing so. If they have exhaled air whilst underwater, cover their mouth with their hand to stop them from potentially breathing in more water until you are at the surface. 

• At the water's surface and whilst supporting their neck and head, tilt their head back to open their airway. Remove their mask to help them breathe through their nose.

Support your buddy's head and neck and tilt their head backwards to open their airway. 

Photo from Cliff Etzel at deeperblue.com. 

• Remove any weights they may be carrying. You want to prevent any chances of them sinking back underwater (and re-obstructing their airway).

• If the water is very unpredictable or there are other aquatic hazards, prioritize getting out of the water. You can't maintain your buddy's airway if you are both in Danger.

T - Talk  

• Talk calmly to your buddy whilst maintaining their airway at the surface. Unconscious people are usually still able to hear. Encourage them to breathe, use their name, ask them to talk to you. 

Communicating with your casualty is an often forgotten but very important aspect of first aid. 

Image from Pixabay.

• You can also gently tap their shoulders and breathe softly across their face. Engaging their senses may bring them back to consciousness - the feeling of air across their face can also encourage them to breathe.  

E - Exit the Water

• If you're still in the water at this point, your buddy is at risk of breathing in water and both of you are at risk of suffering from hypothermia, especially if the water temperature is low. 

• Whilst maintaining your buddy's airway, do your best to get the both of you out of the water. If you are not near a shore, hopefully you will be near a boat or a platform. 

A boat is better than rocks, but rocks are better than nothing. 

Image from Pixabay.

• If you're far away from the shore and don't have access to a boat, hopefully you will be near a surface float or marker buoy. Be near anything that can help you to steady yourself whilst you're supporting your buddy and importantly, to make you more visible to rescuers. 

R - Rescue Breaths

• If your buddy is still unconscious and not breathing, administer five rescue breaths.

• It can be difficult to tell whether someone is breathing or not whilst they are unconscious. Watch their chest to see if it is rising and falling as they inhale and exhale. You can place the back of your hand in front of their mouth to feel whether or not any air is being exhaled. 

• It's much easier to apply rescue breaths outside of the water but if you are still in the ocean and waiting for help, administer them anyway. Sometimes you have to work with the situation at hand.

Tilt your casualty's head back with one hand on their forehead, lift their chin with your other hand, pinch their nose and breathe into their open mouth. Do this five times. 

Image from Alpha Outpost.

• If you're still in the water, administer a rescue breath every five seconds if they are not breathing. 

A - Airway (Assistance/Ambulance)

• After applying rescue breaths, it is very likely that your casualty will cough up water. Monitor your buddy's airway and make sure it is not blocked by water or vomit. 

• You may want to briefly lie the casualty so that their head is lower than their body to help drain any water from their mouth.

• Put your ear to your casualty's mouth to check for breathing.

Keep their airway open with one hand on their forehead, and the other underneath their chin.

Image from Pixabay.

• If there are other people around, call to them for help. Ask them to call for an ambulance (999 in the UK, 112 in the EU, 911 in the USA).

• If you're out of the water but there's no one to help you and your casualty is still unconscious and not breathing, administer CPR (see below) for one minute before attempting to call for emergency help. 

B - Breathing

• If you are still supporting your casualty in the water and waiting for help, keep administering one rescue breath for every 5 seconds and continuously monitor their airway for signs of breathing and/or airway obstruction.

• If your casualty starts breathing but they are still unconscious, place them in the recovery position.

 This is what the recovery position looks like.

Image from Pixabay.

• Even if your casualty regains consciousness, is breathing normally and they assure you that they're OK, they will still need medical attention. If any water has entered their lungs it can irritate their air passages and call them to swell (this is known as secondary drowning).   

C - Circulation (CPR)

• If you are out of the water and your casualty is still not conscious and not breathing, administer CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation).

Place one hand on your casualty's chest, interlock your other hand and with straight arms press down 30 times (these are chest compressions). A first aid training manikin can help you understand how much force is needed when carrying out chest compressions.

Image from Pixabay. 

• Carry out 30 chest compressions and then 2 rescue breaths. Repeat until emergency services arrive.

• How fast should you carry out the chest compressions? Bring to mind 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees. It has the perfect tempo and the subject matter is very relevant. 

• If you have bystanders nearby and you're tired from carrying out CPR for a while, instruct helpers on how to administer it.

• Depending on how well funded the emergency services are in your area, you may want to keep track of how long it will take for an ambulance to reach you whilst others are helping you with the CPR.

• If it is available, use a defibrillator and follow the instructions and voice prompts. Be careful not to be in contact with the casualty whilst the defibrillator sends a shock.

Additional Considerations

• If your casualty has recovered, there is a good chance they will need to be treated for hypothermia. If possible, replace wet clothing with dry clothes and use warm coats or blankets to cover them.

• If they are conscious, a warm drink may help them. Make sure to keep monitoring their response levels, breathing and pulse. 

To reward you for reading this rather serious post, here is a photo of a dog wrapped in a blanket to illustrate how to take care of someone who is showing signs of hypothermia.

Image from Negative Space.

• The preceding sections can be summarized as the acronym DR WATER ABC (like DR ABC, but for the WATER) in order to help you keep in mind the order of first aid priorities. 

• However, the circumstances can dictate the order in which first aid steps are taken or how many times they need to be repeated.

• The Drowning First Aid Infographic at the top of the page can also be illustrated with seals and sea lions:

Some images from Pixabay.
Image of the sea lion giving CPR is from this video.

• You can also learn basic first aid from taking workshops and courses at the Red Cross and/or St John's Ambulance. Both are fantastic organisations who do incredible life-saving work all over the world. 

• First aid for freediving can be learnt at many different Freediving Clubs (e.g. London Freediving) and through courses from AIDA International. 

And finally, stay safe and dive with friends. Thank you for reading!

The Wisdom of Aquatic Crowds

Like humans, fish display much diversity in terms of social behaviour. Some fish prefer to spend time solo.

The Painted Comber likes to hide alone under rocks whilst giving 'side-eye' towards anyone approaching.

Some fish like to hang out with small, diverse groups of compadres.

Are they feeding together or posing for an album cover?

And some fish like to roam the ocean with hundreds or thousands of others just like them.

Homogeneous heroes of the sea.

    There's something very magical about watching a gigantic group of fish zoom past. But what makes fish decide to gather together in shoals or schools, you ask? Even if you didn't ask, I'm still going to tell you. What do you think this post is, a democracy?

  

Shoals vs Schools of Fish

    In order to help you win pointless pub quiz arguments about the differences between shoals and schools, I have provided some very important information about the definitions. 

Shoaling Fish

    Shoaling fish swim together but they do so in directions independent from each other. Being a part of the group doesn't restrict an individual's expression of their identity (ya know what I mean, like). In human terms, they're like one of your most fun social groups - not always the most organised, but you tend to feel energised after spending time with them.  

Damselfish swim together but... slightly apart.

Schooling Fish

   Schooling fish swim together in a coordinated, organised way. It's as if they are all of one mind, one body, but made up of hundreds and thousands of individuals. They're like the hobby social group in which you can achieve impressive things with, but after a while you need some time alone from them. You know, so that you can remember who you actually are and what you really think after detaching from the 'collective'.  

School of European Sprats. Research has found that they don't need no education nor do they need thought control (since the latter comes naturally to them).

    However, to keep things simple I will be referring to schools, shoals or any other gathering of fish as an aggregation.

The Benefits of Aggregation

Fish gain squad-vantages from aggregation, such as:

Strength in Numbers

    A large swarm of homogenous fish all swimming close together can seem like a much larger creature if you're a predator fish (or if your swimming goggles have the wrong prescription). In that way, small fish can group together to intimidate the larger ones.

Left: What I see when I convert a fish aggregation pic to grayscale. 

Right: What a predator fish may see (artists impression).

   Aggregation can also reduce aggression of individual fish towards their own species, even when competing for the same resource. The longer the time spent bonding, the less aggressive fish can be with each other. This phenomena will probably vary across different species, however, and will be dependent on how high-maintenance certain fish friendships can be.

Foodie Friends

    You've heard the phrase 'many hands make light work'. Well, when it comes to aggregating fish, 'many eyes make it easier to locate food'. Admittedly, that could have been catchier. 

You're more likely to be aware of 'that cool new place to eat' when out with your friends than when wandering the streets alone.

    Just like when your friend shouts out 'I've found cake!' and the entirety of your squad then descends upon said cake, when one fish in a aggregation finds food it is communicated to the others via 'feeding movement'. Additionally, you can often find transient groups of fish from different species', co-located, all sharing the same food niche. 

Surmullet fish can form small cliques with other species, united by an appreciation for benthic dishes (e.g. small crustaceans). Can you see the camouflaged turbot dining with them?

There it is.

   However, individual fish in smaller feeding groups or rebellious ones who have broken away from their aggregation can sometimes gain access to food faster than if they'd kept with their crowd.

    

A solo pompano seems to be reflecting on whether it was a good decision to 'go it alone'. More likely though, they're working out how to eat a drowned fly without having to share it with anyone. 

    It's all dependent on those cost:benefit calculations constantly churning away in their tiny aquatic brains. But sometimes I like to think that fish have complex ethical debates with themselves about whether to be selfish or form selfish herds. 

Stress Reduction

    Some fish are just born sociable - they have no choice but to aggregate, otherwise they'll feel FOMO. Like humans when they bored or miss their friends, fish can indeed feel depression.  

Damselfish in distress.

   Research has shown that if a damselfish is removed from its friends it shows an increase in metabolism and a reduction in physical health. It's always something to consider when building aquariums. If you're displaying fish that naturally aggregate, make sure they have plenty of friends (besides yourself of course).  

Leaders and Followers

   What I find so impressive about aggregations of fish, especially the coordinated schooling species, is that they all seem to 'agree' on which direction to go. Even if there's more than a hundred of them - they all reach a consensus with apparently no bickering or passive aggression. However, in a relatively small group of humans it can seem like an impossible task when deciding where to go for dinner. Schooling fish just 'move' without debate.

'To McZooplankton!' they all said. At once. No complaints.

   There is some debate about how aggregating fish make decisions; is there a leader or is there a 'collective will'? Research suggests that a small group of 'elites' run the show and that body size can affect whether or not fish will 'lead' or 'follow' in shoals of golden shiners. There are both benefits and risks associated with being a leader. Fish at the front often have earliest access to food. In fact, there is a relationship between being a hungry fish and being a leading fish. 

This hungry striped seabream may as well be the President.

    However, being at the front makes you more at risk of being gobbled up by a predator. In fact, when aggregating fish become frightened, their first instinct is to bury themselves as centrally as possible within their crowd of friends. Interestingly, if a fish becomes injured or shaken it releases a 'fear pheromone', which triggers an escape response in neighbouring individuals. The very Austrian-German biologist Karl Ritter von Frisch named the pheromone 'Schreckstoff' (literally meaning 'fright-stuff'). 

Pictured: Schreckstoff in action (Artist's Impression). Drawing by Rakel Stensmyr from Stensmyr & Maderspacher, 2012.

    'Schreckstoff' itself is a mucus mixture of glycosaminoglycan (GAG) chondroitins (specifically chondroitin-4 and -6 sulphate), and the purified components have been shown to be responsible for the 'fear response' in zebrafish. To be honest, I would be a bit frightened if someone threw mucus at me.  

Final Thought: Crowds vs Individuals

   Many different species of animals group together for the same reasons that fish aggregate. And yes, that definitely includes humans. As 'groups' or 'crowds' of similarly dressed or similarly behaving individuals, humans can accomplish many fantastic things including beautiful traditional dances, large-scale comedic moments and of course, protest marches that can influence the media, current politics and the course of history. Just like fish aggregating, human 'shoals' are that of people gathering together to work towards a goal that is 'bigger' than that of the individual. However, akin to the fish that break away from the collective, it's just as important for humans to recognise when it's better to be an independent thinker or to simply go with the flow.  

    That said, I thought I'd make a little video about crowds both on dry-land and underwater. Hope you enjoy..

Video features the choral masterpiece 'I Follow Rivers' by the legendary Lykke Li. Do follow her. 

Thank you to everyone who follows my blog!

How to Make Friends (With an Octopus)

  Friendships are important. Good friendships can be life-saving. However, making friends and maintaining them can be a challenge, especially for those with social anxiety.
    Fortunately there are a lot of helpful online guides and ebooks that can make the whole process a little less daunting. These hints and tips may help to thwart typical barriers to establishing a friendship. Such obstacles can include cultural divisions, language differences, personality contrasts and perhaps even belonging to completely different species'.

1. Search for Friends in the Right Places

   To maximise your chances of meeting future friends; join organizations, clubs or social groups that share the same interests and hobbies as yourself. That way there will be an immediate topic of conversation (or not, if you join a Silence Appreciation Society). Sports clubs or volunteering groups can help you bond with people as you work towards achieving a common goal. However, some fantastic friendships can be formed completely out of the blue due to chance meetings at an opportune moment. 

For example, I was searching ocean caves for food whilst 'Octobob' was hiding in one.

2. Be Friendly, Approachable and Polite

    Don't be afraid to make the first move; reach out to people to show that you want to make friends. Politeness, manners and an understanding of social etiquette can help you make a good first impression. Make sure you're aware of what's culturally normal in terms of personal space boundaries. By being friendly and respecting others' level of comfort, you will seem much less of a threat and absolutely enhance your initial approachability. This is even more important if you're in fact a predator species and Octobob is worried about potentially ending up in a potato salad. 

The Brits tend to keep a three metre space between them when talking. It's slightly different in the Mediterranean sea, where one metre is probably alright.  

    If you're impolite and get far too close for comfort, it can trigger a 'fight or flight' response in the other person. No one likes arm grabs or unsolicited poking.

3. Make Eye Contact and Sincere Conversation

    During a conversation be sure to show interest in the other person's company. Eye contact, smiling and active responses to what they're saying will mean the other person associates you with a positive interaction. An awareness of the 30% talking/70% listening ratio will mean that the other person is more likely to enjoy the conversation. Negative body language such as repetitive yawning, turning your back or snarling menacingly can have the opposite effect. 

However, extended periods of eye contact can be difficult if the other person has an intense stare or if their eyes are a brilliant shade of orange.

  Sometimes it can be beneficial to communicate with people more than once, but with adequate breaks in between conversations so that they don't view your company as too intense or clingy. It can also help to ward off potential clingy behaviour in the other person. The latter is especially important if your new acquaintance has eight tentacles with the strongest suckers known to science. 

4. Gift Giving

  Gifts don't have to be tangible. Sometimes these can be in the form of compliments, appreciation of their efforts, recognition of their talents or simple acts of kindness. Of course when gifts are tangible, make sure it's appropriate and of a reasonable expense. Specific food items (e.g. a can of chopped tomatoes) can be problematic if you don't know someone's tastes or what they may be allergic to. An elaborate or very expensive gift (e.g. International Space Station Lego Set) can result in awkwardness if you've only known each other for half an hour. From my point of view an Action Camera with a 32GB SD card was an unreasonably expensive gift, as was any of the surrounding fauna.  

Since Octobob seemed to be quite cave-proud, an ornamental beach pebble was thought to be an appropriate and reasonably expensive gift.

5. Be Honest About your Intentions

    Many people can feel suspicious about why they are receiving a gift. Nowadays we're all conscious of bribery and its consequences, so if you do give a gift be sure to communicate your intentions. For example, normal reasons include the celebration of a birthday, wedding or housewarming, or perhaps a thank-you gift if someone has been incredibly awesome. You may also need to state that what you're giving is definitely a gift and not some old junk from your attic or contraband that you're trying to frame them with.  

Communicating clearly is especially important if the other person has slightly blurry eyesight or has difficulty comprehending the human concept of gift giving. 

6. Be Patient

    If you're speaking with someone who has low levels of confidence or if they take a while to trust others, you'll need to be patient. Shyness, fear of rejection or self-consciousness can result in others withdrawing despite you being a perfectly approachable and friendly person. Some people need space and time in order to work out whether or not they trust you or if they feel you're worth investing their time and emotional energy in. 

Some people just fear being hurt by others. Especially if you seem the type to have eaten Insalata di Polpo the previous night.

7. Give them the Chance to Initiate Conversation

  Certain types of people tend to be happiest when they feel they're in control of situations. No one likes to feel forced into anything and it's important to let people choose whether or not they want to engage with your company. Patience and respect can mean that the other person extends their hand (or tentacle) of friendship towards you in good time. 

In some cultures it's polite to shake hands, but note that it's not a universal rule. It may not even be recommended if their 'hand' has incredibly painful suckers. 

8. Enjoy their Company

   If you enjoy social interaction, like-minded others will know this and feel like hanging out with you is fun. Seeing someone emerge from their shell (or crawl out from their cave) and feel comfortable in your presence can be a fantastic feeling. By spending time with them, you may gain a more in-depth understanding of the world, discuss ideas that will initiate thought processes you never thought could exist and learn so much more about others as well as yourself. 

    You may also find out that your friend has some unconventional hobbies, interests or quirks. For instance you may be completely startled by the fact that your new friend looks like an alien brain crawling around on eight giant noodles. Hold back from expressing harsh judgements of their character, however. Remember that no-one is perfect and that we all have our foibles. For example, I probably look like a giant pink alien who only buys cheap tech.  

Octobob may be sociable but I can already sense him judging my camera specs.

9. Let them Introduce you to their Friends

    If they enjoy your company, they may be willing to introduce you to their comrades. Make sure to be genial towards those they care about. Antagonism towards their besties can result in detachment of the friendship quite quickly. Additionally, understand that the dynamic you have with your new friend may be quite different from the type of bond they have with their closer friends. For example, Octobob and his Mediterranean Rainbow Wrasse friend (named 'Red Stripe') will probably discuss Renaissance art whilst snacking on amphipoda. 

Octobob would have surely been a fan of Bosch and his azurite-rich works

    However, my friendship with Octobob was mainly based on an appreciation of tasteful pebbles. 

10. Respect their Needs

    In order to maintain the friendship, do your best to be a good friend. Initiate meetups, ask the other person how they are, respect their feelings and celebrate their achievements. Even if you feel a little envious that they're able to change the texture and colour of their skin at any given time, be happy for them rather than critically chip away at the attributes that they're proud of. 

Not everyone is blessed with naturally vibrant cyan highlights (it's due to octopus blood containing haemocyanin)

   Importantly, if your friend needs to rest or simply requires their own space (or to hide under ocean reeds), respect their wishes. Compromise and boundary setting is crucial in every social interaction. Understand that everyone has a different threshold for how much time and energy they can spend on socialising. Toxic behaviours such as being too clingy or controlling can cause the friendship to end abruptly. 

11. Understand that Friends Come and Go

   Just like the skin colour of Octobob, friendships are often transient. There is that famous poem which states 'people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime'. Just because you haven't spoken to your friend in ages doesn't mean the friendship is over. However, just because a friendship ends doesn't mean it was necessarily a bad one. Sometimes priorities, circumstances or social needs change. You may need to evaluate your past actions and grieve the loss of the friendship, but don't forget to appreciate the time you spent together and the positive impact it had on your life.

    And anyway, you may still be in contact (and have more in common with) your friend's associates!

'Red Stripe' here is more of a sociable extrovert like myself anyway.

To Octobob!